“I hope you white liberal women never procreate” – @j_lucero.21 on TikTok

“You’re so ignorant and uneducated” – @twinmamarock on TikTok

“Eat less food” – @trenbaloneyacetate on TikTok

“walk and have fun as much as you can, because you gonna be a house slave. your body, my choice forever” – @sergio.redoy

I like to talk about books on TikTok. You probably wouldn’t have guessed that is what enraged these commenters above, especially from self-proclaimed mothers, fathers, Christians, or just adults clearly far older than myself. But over the past three years, I have become accustomed to this. And you know what? I’ve noticed that we all have. 

In 2021, I started a TikTok account to promote my self-published novel “The Son of Mara.” Eventually, I transitioned into book reviews, literary history, and media analyses. I have grown to over 42,000 followers and enjoyed inspiring book lovers around the world. One mother informed me that because of my video series teaching banned books, she bought some for her and her child to read and dissect together. Another individual commented that they have autism and ADHD and were able to actively listen to my video, making them very interested in exploring books further. 

I post about literature because I love analyzing books, but I would be lying if I said knowing my videos have real world impact is not a huge motivator. I would also be lying if I said hate comments don’t get to me. 

To post a video talking about why I think Charles from Donna Tartt’s “The Secret History” is a villain, or how I actually like purple prose, and having someone respond by questioning my right to have children or insulting my weight is not only cruel, but baffling. The comment feature was created to offer a space to express opinions about the post. In my experience, though, comments have become a liminal space for people to say whatever is on their minds. 

The increasing presence of technology, the internet, and social media has created a paradox. We can tune into what someone on the other side of the world is doing right now, but we view them as what we have been trained to view anything else on our screens: fictional. 

I know this from the comments I have received. You would think that kind of hate from an adult would only be given to another adult. It’s hard to picture a 50-year-old man telling a 5-year-old they should not have children. Adults insult other adults. 

I am 19, so in every sense of the word, I am an adult. An adult is a person.

But actually, I’ve realized they don’t see me as an adult either. A number of comments attempting to correct my opinion—an oxymoron in itself—start with addresses like “honey” or “sweetheart.” These are things you call a misbehaving child, not someone you see as your equal or someone worthy of having an intellectual conversation with. 

So, I am neither an adult nor a child—which is impossible. I am not a person. I am the liminal space. 

This is the only justification for talking to a stranger in such a way. Imagine a man in a coffee shop overhearing a person talking about their opinions on a book. He disagrees with them wholeheartedly. He leans over to tell them they are stupid and that they should eat less too. He goes back to his coffee, opens his laptop to a home screen featuring his wife and children, and starts filing his taxes. 

Disgusting, isn’t it? That is the real-life equivalent to comment culture, particularly hate comment culture. And we, for the most part, ignore it. Report the comment, delete it, and block the account. If the comment is not on our own account, we just scroll past it. 

But we cannot ignore this issue. That screen between us and other people makes us forget they are, in fact, people. Humans with emotions and thoughts and favorite colors. Humans like us.

Every day I am grateful that I have a place to share my passion for books. Every day I am grateful that people not only like the content I make, but are moved to real-world action. I refuse to give that up, but I also refuse to accept that hate is part of the job. 

Ignoring hate until it goes away does not let the hater face the social consequences of their actions. They continue attacking people because they get no response, no backlash. It’s like hitting a punching bag for them. They keep hitting because they think they are hitting an object. 

Well, I’m not an object and neither are you. You have emotions and thoughts, too. Let’s stop suppressing them because we think hate comments are to be expected. Instead, let’s challenge what we have accepted.