I have just moved to the United States. The English here is not what I learnt at home.

As an international student from India attending a liberal arts college in Boston, my life is changing fast. It’s hardly been a month, but I already see a major problem in my communication. This is the first time I have experienced something like this. 

In high school, I was the most fluent English speaker and a proficient writer, earning high marks across all exams. At home, my mother was often frustrated with me correcting her pronunciation of certain words in English, as I reminded her, “Mom, it isn’t ‘vaar’, it’s war.” 

But it isn’t the same anymore. I’m facing a crisis of language, constantly relearning my English to be better understood by my college peers.

I was taught two tongues from kindergarten: English and Hindi—the official languages of India’s union government. I love speaking Hindi, with its efficiency and expressiveness, and I feel I can express my emotions better. But I love English as well, for all of its poetic, universal aspects. 

I got better at English due to my excessive love for American media, watching Marvel films and listening to a variety of English-speaking artists, ranging from The Beatles to Taylor Swift. They helped me pick up new words and ideas through dialogue and lyrics, expanding my capabilities in the English language. 

The English language which I saw on screen and listened to in my headphones was simple, and it almost inspired a sense of confidence when I spoke the language. But now, when I turn to my American friends, I feel a disconnect in my ability to convert ideas into words. I think of something, but a different idea is replicated on my tongue. Sometimes I’ll try to talk about an object, but because I mess up a keyword here or there, the listener loses all context clues and becomes confused. Suddenly, a simple description of something like a guitar strap turns into a rope to play tug-of-war with.

I see two reasons for this: clarity and tone. 

In India, I used to speak in English at a fast pace, and people still understood what I was saying. That was how we communicated. But now, because of my “Indian accent,” I’m forced to speak slower and articulate each and every sound, or risk being dismissed. Even a simple, two syllable word like “model” has turned into “modal” for me, so no one else has to adjust to my way of speaking to understand me but myself. With a shift in my geography, language is bound to be an issue. It’s just that I did not expect my first language to present a barrier while shifting into a new life, college, and continent.

To avoid getting overwhelmed with my new life, I talk to my family and friends back home every day. It feels amazing to see their faces, to remember that I do have a home elsewhere too. And, of course, nothing beats the feeling of not speaking अंग्रेजी, and shifting to हिंदी for an hour or so.

I think with time I’ll be okay. I will adapt to the dialect here. My tongue will learn not to roll my R’s and to distinctly pronounce my T’s while slowly shifting into the one thing my Indian friends asked me not to gain: an American accent. We cannot be expected to alter 18 years of English speaking in 18 days. 

Language is a means of communication; it helps you transfer ideas.Just because people here don’t understand you from the get go, don’t get frustrated. We don’t have to change how we speak because we aren’t understood. Rather, others need to be more patient and kind with us. And whatever you do, do not apologize for how you speak.