As we enter the holiday season, annual festivities like baking cookies with loved ones and filling the house with decorative knick-knacks are in full swing. This month prides itself on the celebration of togetherness; for some, however, it can spur feelings of loneliness.
During the busiest time of the year, holiday blues can often be caused by a heavy mental load and excess emotional labor.
Mental load is attempting to cognitively manage the daily tasks needed to be accomplished, like making cookies for your children’s holiday bake sale or buying matching pajamas for Christmas Eve. While these holiday season tasks don’t seem burdensome, according to UCLA Health, “when those invisible tasks accumulate and the load gets heavy, it can affect your relationships, physical health and mental well-being.”
Emotional labor refers to managing one’s emotions to carry out a task, such as hosting a holiday party even when not necessarily feeling social. During the holiday season, there is an expectation to be in the holiday spirit and full wardrobe of festive red and green clothing. However, according to Psychology Today, “the mismatch between one’s genuine feelings and outward behavior can be distressing and draining, especially if it is consistent.”
If you’re experiencing overwhelming holiday emotions, here are three strategies that can help alleviate the intensity of these feelings.
1. Volunteer
With all the traditions that come along with the holiday season, one is finding opportunities to give back to the community. That could be distributing food at local food banks, decorating hospitals with garland, and other volunteering events. Assisting those in need of immediate resources builds a better quality of life for them and also gives you a better sense of existential purpose. By partaking in acts of service, it is mutually beneficial to help those in need access resources while rekindling your relationship with society.
2. Me-Day
For those who are spending the holidays alone, make this time an indulgent experience by focusing on all that brings you joy. Whether that be binge watching Christmas movie classics while drinking hot chocolate, making a homemade advent calendar, or doing online holiday retail therapy, do something this holiday season that is just for you. However, if you don’t necessarily enjoy holiday-esque activities, the concept is applicable to non-denominational self care. Create an at home spa with face masks, crochet a cotton blanket, go on a run, or anything else that provides feelings of wellness.
3. Avoid/Balance overcommitment
The busy holiday season calls for parties, bake sales, and other social commitments that can be emotionally taxing from balancing all the associated responsibilities. If you feel you’re stressing over attendance at holiday gatherings, set limits on how much time you spend at each event or which you show face at. While it can be uncomfortable for some people, it’s important to request help from a friend or significant other if you need it. Allow yourself some grace in taking time to relax and distance from the holiday demand.
Don’t feel the expectation to live up to a Hallmark Christmas of a perfectly decorated house, stockings hung along the fireplace, and everything that defines a picture-perfect Christmas. The essence of Christmas lies in connection, gratitude, and creating memories, however that looks for you.
