In this harmful social media age of parasocial relationships and performative influencers, I try my best not to get attached to celebrities. However, one has proven to be an exception: Ilona Maher. I feel excited every time her Instagram and TikTok notifications pop up on my phone—and I’m not the only one.
Since her Olympic debut at the Tokyo Games in 2020, the bronze medalist and two-time Olympic rugby player has gained widespread attention, amassing more than four million followers on Instagram and three million on TikTok. Her following has only continued to grow since her first appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” last September.
But the rugby star’s impeccable athletic abilities aren’t the only reason she has become a social media sensation. Many fans—myself included—admire Maher for her genuine online persona and commitment to promoting self-acceptance. Yet why is it that when I search Maher’s name on Google, there are more articles and social media posts speculating about her dating life rather than discussing her achievements and positive influences?
While the media focus on her romantic relationships, Maher uses her platform to spread body positivity. Unlike many other internet celebrities and influencers and their perfectly curated and superficial social media feeds, Maher posts about her authentic experiences as she aims to encourage others to appreciate their bodies. In a recent interview with People magazine, she opened up about how her athletic physique caused her self-image issues growing up. “I don’t think I ever fully hated my body. Maybe I didn’t understand why it looked the way it did,” she recalled. Like many young girls, Maher struggled with accepting her body, as she constantly questioned why she looked different from the other girls in her grade.
It wasn’t until she started playing rugby in her senior year of high school and met her teammates, especially Naya Tapper, that she began to appreciate what her 5 feet 10 inches and 200-pound body could do. Although Maher admits that she still faces body image issues today, she’s committed to helping others love their bodies and appreciate what they can do for them. Her message of self-love is prevalent in many of her social media posts, where she shows viewers that it is okay to embrace both masculine and feminine traits, proving internet trolls wrong.
While many people try to label Maher as masculine because of her broad shoulders, tall stature, and muscles, she fights back, collaborating with brands like Sports Illustrated and People Magazine, where she breaks the narratives of what it means to be masculine and look like an athlete. Her influence was especially powerful on the opening day of the 2024 Olympics, when Maher told her followers on Instagram, “I want you all to take a look at all the different body types on display. All body types matter; all body types are worthy, from the smallest gymnast to the tallest volleyball player to a rugby player, shot putter, sprinter … All body types are beautiful and can do amazing things, so truly see yourself in these athletes and know that you can do it too.”
Maher takes this message to the rugby field, where she can be found wearing her signature red lipstick every game. In an interview with CBS, Maher said she wears red lipstick to “stick it to the man.”
“I feel that I can be a beast and can play this very physical, aggressive sport while also keeping my femininity while I do it,” Maher told CBS Mornings. “You don’t have to sacrifice your femininity to play any sports, whether it’s softball, field hockey, basketball, rugby … To me, it’s just a little bit of not changing who I am no matter what I’m doing.”
But the rugby pitch isn’t where most people learned Maher’s name. Like many other Americans, I was introduced to Maher this past summer during the 2024 Olympic games, where she led Team USA to win their first-ever medal in rugby sevens. However, instead of watching the live broadcasts of the Olympics, I kept up to date with Team USA’s journey through Maher’s TikToks. Maher has brought massive attention to the underrepresented female sport through these social media posts, encouraging viewers to tune in and young girls to join the sport.
Why? So, they, too, can fight against the patriarchy. “As women, a lot of times our body has been this object to be looked at and to be objectified, and I hate that there’s girls out there that feel like they don’t have a purpose for their body, and so they want to change it constantly,” Maher told the Los Angeles Times. “To get into sports and a sport like rugby, a sport like canoe and track and field gives your body a purpose, shows what it can do and what it’s capable of. It’s not just something that is for others to judge.”
More importantly, her message is making a difference and resonating with audiences. People Magazine published a story in August about just how powerful Maher’s platform really is. When nine-year-old Georgia from California started feeling critical of her weight, her mother Ashley encouraged her to watch Maher’s videos on Instagram. Maher soon became Georgia’s idol, and she started feeling more confident in her body, which led to her writing Maher a letter. In it, she mentioned she weighed 100 pounds, which led her to become the captain of her rugby team. She ends the note saying, “Without you[,] I would probably be very anxious about my weight/looks.” To her surprise, Georgia received a video response through Instagram from Maher and a care package, including a jersey she had signed and worn in a game. Since then, the two have met in person, as Maher talked with Georgia’s rugby team during an all-girls practice.
Revitalizing young girls’ interest in rugby not only allows them to take back confidence in their bodies but also gives the underrepresented sport a chance to thrive in the male-dominated sports world. Like most women’s sports, women’s rugby doesn’t receive as much funding and media coverage as its male counterparts. Maher, who has both a nursing degree and a master’s in business, acknowledges that for many players, rugby can’t be their profession like it can be for males because the sport doesn’t make enough money—an unfair discrepancy she’s determined to terminate.
As her platform continues to grow, Maher joins the conversation started by many other Olympians, including Simone Biles and Michael Phelps, advocating for increased awareness about elite athletes’ mental health. As their lives enter the global spotlight, these athletes endure the high expectations of viewers and become targets for hate comments on social media, leading to struggles with their mental health. By bringing these conversations to the public, they have put increased pressure on the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee to improve mental health resources for athletes everywhere.
So, why is the media narrowing her down to her relationship status? Contestants on “Dancing with the Stars” frequently become the subject of dating rumors. However, I couldn’t help but realize that Maher’s fellow male contestants—like professional football wide receiver Danny Amendola and NBA player Dwight Howard—aren’t receiving the same unsolicited dating attention. Yes, the star discusses and jokes about her dating life on social media, but that shouldn’t overshadow her accomplishments.
Many will argue that it’s an attempt to make her more “relatable.” However, besides her struggles with body acceptance, we don’t need to relate to Maher. She’s a female Olympian who is breaking through the gender stereotypes of the athletic world, inspiring the next generation of female athletes, and destigmatizing mental health conversations for athletes—she’s not like the rest of us. Maher’s message is what makes her a role model, not her dating status.
While I remain skeptical of celebrities and influencers, I look forward to seeing Maher’s content on my feed. Her authentic personality, goofy content, and infectious love for her body and sport make it hard to resist watching her content. So, if you’re going to obsess over a celebrity, Ilona Maher is the safest—and most inspiring—option. If only the media would focus on that.
