Remember that kid in class who would always get a 99 percent on his math test, but still complain about it?

And you would sit there with your lousy 83, thinking, ‘Why is he complaining? He has it nice. He can’t even appreciate what he has.

So, with that, I’ve got a message for all the Patriots fans that for some reason can’t be happy with their freakin’ 99: watch the Super Bowl.

I know your beloved gridiron pantheons weren’t as successful this season as you hoped for, but that should not inhibit you from watching what is shaping up to be one of the best sporting spectacles in recent memory.

There are too many subplots and intriguing storylines to tune out and watch whatever re-runs competing networks might peddle that night.

From a stylistic standpoint, this game will be unlike any Super Bowl played since the early 90s. Back when Lawrence Taylor was flying around the field on one side, and Darryl Talley, Shane Conlan, and Cornelius Bennett (the three AFC Pro Bowl linebackers) were on the other — also known as Super Bowl XXV.

This Super Bowl, like the aforementioned New York Giants vs. Buffalo Bills contest of 1991, features two smashmouth, dynamic defenses that play in your face, loud, abrasive football. Simply put, they play football the right way.

The saying goes, “defense wins championships.” Well, these two teams boast championship caliber defenses, with the Steelers and Packers allowing the fewest and second fewest points respectively, this season in the NFL. Get ready for a doozy.

There is no shortage of big names on the defensive side of the ball, either. Guys like Clay, Hawk, Farrior, and Woodson, the kind of names you would only normally hear on Ben Stiller’s dodge ball team.

This matchup features the classic battle of the, veteran “been there — done that” quarterback in Ben Roethlisberger versus the “up-and-comer” Aaron Rodgers.

Rodgers, the quarterback who replaced Brett Favre in 2008,  has finally taken the Pack to football’s grandest stage. By comparison, it took Favre four years to reach the Super Bowl (and 16 years to expose his genatalia via text), while Rodgers reached the big game in just three years (and has yet to bare all by his phone). A Super Bowl win for A-Rodge could mean permanently coming out of Favre’s football shadow, and garnering the respect he deserves.

Let’s not forget: the last time the Packers won the Super Bowl was 1997, and they came just one win short of another Lombardi trophy the following year in 1998, long before iPhones and ‘sexting’ were even invented. Green Bay is craving a title.

And for history’s sake, let’s not forget who the Pack defeated in 1997… those Bill Parcells-led Pats.

Pittsburgh, on the other hand, has enjoyed immense success as of late. Winning Super Bowls in 2005 and 2008, the Steelers are the second most successful team in recent memory behind… ahem, your Foxborough gods.

This is a rare opportunity for the football fanatics of the Commonwealth to watch a game in January/February objectively, which can lead to more enjoyment. Just think; you don’t have to hold your breath every time Brady’s Beiber-cut gets ruffled, or when Belichick decides to go for it on fourth down from his own five yardline.

Take it from a New York Giants fan: watching post-season football with no vested interest can potentially open up a world of viewing enjoyment.

Unfortunately, this game will be played in the comfort of Cowboys Stadium, in the good ol’ Longhorn state. A snowy backdrop could have turned this insta-classic into an all-timer, but we’ll have to make do.

Maybe you are still  depressed, and have not left your room since that dreadful Sunday. Maybe some of you are reading this from the sanctity of the rock you’re hiding under until the NFL season kicks off next September. But if you consider yourself a football fan, this is a game you’re not going to want to miss. Do yourself a favor, take yourself out of witness protection, sink into your couch, and pray Fergie does her best Janet Jackson impression.