I can only assume your editorial last week was intended satirically, since the claims made within are obviously too far-fetched to be taken seriously. With that in mind, I’d like to propose a few addendums to your advice.
First, let’s remove the security camera from the Emerson Library.,Dear Editor,
I can only assume your editorial last week was intended satirically, since the claims made within are obviously too far-fetched to be taken seriously. With that in mind, I’d like to propose a few addendums to your advice.
First, let’s remove the security camera from the Emerson Library. It’s clearly not functioning according to its purpose, and perhaps the college could use the funds earned from its sale toward a new banner to place over the library’s entrance: “Welcome, thiefs [sic]!”
Next, let’s do away with that pesky business of ID swiping in the dorms; it seems, after all, “uncessarily [sic] strict.” Finally, from now on let’s make sure to clarify that victims of theft who acknowledge their own responsibility but seek simple ways to prevent theft from happening in the future are actually just looking for a convenient scapegoat. I mean, it’s always the victim’s fault, right?
-Stephanie Appell
Junior WLP major