Miss Manners

a href=https://berkeleybeacon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/kimya.jpgimg class=aligncenter size-full wp-image-3813789 title=kimya src=https://berkeleybeacon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/kimya.jpg alt= width=367 height=400 //a

strongKimya Kavehkar, Beacon Columnist/strong

Break ups suck. Especially when you see your ex chatting up some new cutie in a beanie on Boylston Street, and all you want to do is hurl your foaming latte in his face and yell, “You’ll never find anyone better than me, baby!”

Even though the momentary vindication would taste as sweet as that grande pumpkin spice in hand, the lasting embarrassment of a latte-related fiasco would be worthy of its own meme. Here’s four ways to deal with the pain of saying goodbye to your Emerson sweetheart while remaining poised and classy.

strongThe Internet is not your friend./strong There’s much said online that should not be said. While telling the world how “shwasteddd” you got this weekend is a major faux pas, it’s often the references you thought were subtle or vague that come off as the most glaring. Passive-aggressive tweets or posts containing perfectly-timed Taylor Swift lyrics come off as totally annoying. If you feel these things, either talk to your pals about it over and over again (hey, it’s their obligation), or open up that musty, unused diary and release some pent up angst with good ol’ paper and pen. Your acquaintances, friends, and followers will thank you.

strongDon’t ignore each other in public. /strongRemember that latte incident? Yeah, not a good look, but giving your ex the cold shoulder won’t go over well either. A simple “Hi, how are you?” shows that you’re ready to face the world as a single guy/gal, you hold no grudges over the split, and appreciate the good times. If you don’t feel that way, and things ended badly, a smile and a head-nod goes a long way. After all, you probably have some excellent memories of your time together and could maybe work your way up to getting together for a casual lunch. Don’t miss the opportunity for a possible friendship over temporary feelings of pain.

strongAvoid drunk texting./strong In an attempt to get over this person, you hit the bars and have eye-sex with everyone in the place while getting properly liquored-up. Around 1 a.m., when you come home with a beer-soaked heart and find an empty bed, the send button never looked so tempting. Sending a text of adoration and pleas for a reunion sounds like a brilliant plan How could your ex rebuff, “babe i made a misteak 4give mee pleaz”? But in the morning, you’ll cringe at your last text. Next time, ask your friends to take your phone. In fact, before a drop of alcohol touches your lips, hand it off to your friends so you’re not neurotically looking for a text that will never come. It’s for emergencies only, and not the kind of emergency where you need to get laid and freak your ex out with post-coital tears.

strongDon’t gossip./strong If you’ve been burned by a former flame, your first instinct is to want to hurt them as much as they’ve hurt you. Yes, it’s an immature reaction, but it’s human. Sometimes we want to do juvenile things in order to feel better. You want to tell everyone how terrible your ex is in bed, how you paid for every date, and any multitude of his or her gross habits. Please refrain: It makes you look bitter and desperate for attention. If people ask what happened, tell them your relationship ran its course, not that your erstwhile partner was a cheater or a liar. Those intimate details don’t need to be made public by your mouth. It takes more energy to speak negatively about the person, and at this point, most of your energy has probably been drained in the break up.

emKavehkar is a senior print journalism major and a Beacon/em emcolumnist. /em

emShe can be reached at kimya_kavehkar@emerson.edu./em

emFollow her on Twitter @kimyanattalie/em