John “Franny” Francisconi is a beautiful man. He is beautiful because he gets a lot of beauty sleep, and he gets a lot of beauty sleep because he consumes a lot of relaxation products. Consequently, he has built up the world’s largest collection of Drank cans, and he has purchased over 25 Lazy Cakes from the C-store and mailed in the wrappers to win a Lazy Cake T-shirt to sleep in.

John’s other achievements include setting the record for the most napkins swallowed in an hour. This was a tough record to beat, as the girl on My Strange Addiction is tough competition.

Between setting records and sleeping, John somehow finds the time to read a lot of books. His favorite books are the ones that are simultaneously funny and sad. Most days he can be found in his room reading these books while listening to The-Dream’s heartfelt music.

When John isn’t busy keeping in touch with his emotions in his room, he can often be seen doing impressions of celebrities on Drank in the dining hall. But as the semester is coming to a close and he’s running out of meals, you might want to look out for him at South Station’s premier grilled cheese establishment, Cheeseboy. John won a gift card to Cheeseboy when they asked on Facebook, “What is your favorite food to eat with grilled cheese?” and he answered, “Another grilled cheese.”

John wins a lot of things, from Lazy Cake T-shirts to Cheeseboy gift cards, but most of all he wins our hearts with his charm.

-Joel Jordon