I’m an addict. I can’t stop watching low-budget, B-list horror flicks that are certifiably shit. I would consider films like “Sharknado,” “Llamageddon,” “Dead Sushi,” and “Velocipastor”...

Let’s imagine: you’re sprinting to the nearest Walmart at full speed and hurtling straight towards the poultry section. You’ve finally mastered spatchcocking in theory, and you need that turkey to...