Halloween brings out an aspect of peoples’ creative side that can be easily transferred to a steamy bedroom. Oct. 31 is the day to dress up in scary, sexy, funny, and thought-provoking costumes—but who said this holiday should be the only time to assume a unique identity? Dressing up as someone else should not be limited to trick or treating—it is also an incredibly beneficial way to spice things up in the bedroom.
Role-playing allows peoples’ fantasies to not only come to life, but—even better—come to life with some shaking in the sheets. Dressing up as a character or a real person is a way to intimately explore your deepest desires and allows you to be vulnerable with your partner. Sometimes, by pretending to be someone else, you may even be showing your partner who you are subconsciously—a very healthy addition to your sex life.
Taking that one step further (specifically in the direction of a bed), being comfortable in role-playing builds and enhances trust within a relationship. Playing out a fantasy indicates the presence of emotional and physical safety as well as security between two (or more) individuals who can connect on a deeper level. Feeling that comfort in your sex life is extraordinary—the next step is switching things up so you don’t get so comfortable that sexy time just isn’t sexy anymore.
Rekindling the spark in the bedroom is vital to keeping your sex life alive. Oftentimes, the excitement of sex dwindles as a relationship progresses. There’s no more ripping off clothes and tackling each other to the floor; the excitement and anticipation of being intimate is lost. Role-playing—or sometimes even just talking about it, can enhance your sexual routine so banging doesn’t feel like a nail being hammered into a wall. Exploring your fantasies creates intimacy and the chance to grow as a couple in an exciting, kinky way.
Kinks like S&M can sometimes be too drastic, others can be illegal, and some can simply be boring. Role-playing is a safe, legal, and creative form of sexual self-expression that creates opportunity for a deeper connection, and can change as often as your outfit does. The right stroke or touch can definitely set you on the path to an orgasm, but incorporating your imagination directly engages your pleasure department. Tapping into the mental aspect of sex gives you the physical sensation of a whole other dimension—the brain certainly is the most important sex organ.
The cliches of furry handcuffs and police outfits associated with role-playing often deter people from exploring the idea, but taking on a temporary identity in the bedroom doesn’t have to be cheesy. Role playing doesn’t mean you have to dress up as an electrician who comes to service “your appliances,” or a naked alien who is lost on earth and stumbles into your bed. Start simple: try being dominant if you’re usually submissive, or act like strangers if the concept of having sex with someone you don’t know arouses you.
Regardless of how you choose to role-play, the most important aspect of this is communication. Talk to your partner and come up with a game plan. Establish a safe word so you can come out of a scene when it starts to feel uncomfortable or overwhelming. Exploring kinks only benefits a relationship when all parties are on the same page.
This Halloween, don’t put away your costume just yet. It’s time to escape your reality: let go of the stresses accompanying day-to-day life, and have some fun. Happy Hallo-wiener!
