Sept. 26. That’s the day my life changed, the day I met the best friend any girl could ever ask for. 

From that first day I met him, Gavin has been by my side through thick and thin, through good times and bad. Anytime I need him, he is there for me in ways no one else has ever been before. He comforts me, he gives me strength, he inspires a better version of myself. He helps me break my old habits, and encourages me to stay away from toxic masculinity for good. He made me a more independent, more empowered, and more euphoric woman. 

Let me formally introduce you to my friend—the Trojan Vibrations Divine Multi-Speed Vibrating Massager. 

Every woman needs a purple, ribbed best friend that sits in their bedside drawer—I’m not kidding. So many women rely too heavily on men to be pleasured. Men who often end up using us and then dropping us. But who says we need them? We don’t.

Picture this: you have a glass of wine, watch a romantic film, feel a little tingly—BAM—use your vibrator. It’s way better than sitting there, wine drunk, wishing a man would come make you feel good, because you can make you feel good. 

Every time someone in my suite says, “I wanna have sex,” my response is, “Where’s your vibrator?”

Vibrators aren’t just good for sexual independence, they’re beneficial for one’s health and well-being, both physically and mentally. 

Orgasms before bed help you sleep better because they produce prolactin, the sleep-inducing hormone, according to sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. More so, climaxing can improve mental health and happiness because of the oxytocin and serotonin hormones that are produced, contributing to feelings of de-stressing and positivity.  

Those endorphins also prevent health problems. Women who orgasm two times a week are 30 percent less likely to develop heart disease. Could vibrators get any more valuable?

Now, let’s talk more science: according to Knight, regularly using a vibrator helps maintain the walls of the vagina—keeping our private areas healthier. When women are aroused, the linings of our vaginas secrete and keep the area moist. Being aroused can also prevent infections in the cervix and urinary tract by opening the cervix and allowing unwanted fluids to wash out. You’ll also have better bladder control because when a woman orgasms, her vagina contracts and exercises her pelvic floor muscles. 

Oh, and orgasms can help you beat pain. You heard me. 

According to Knight, many women have reported that regular orgasms help relieve period pains and cramps. Say bye bye to heating pads and hello to vibrators. 

They can even help with headaches, because the area of the brain involved in reducing pain is highly activated when a woman is aroused and endorphins are released, allowing nerve impulses to soothe. 

Vibrators create a kind of sexual understanding within a woman that can allow for self actualization. Basically, learning about your vagina on your own can make sex with another person better.

For example, if you suffer from vaginismus––which can cause pain during sex––a sex toy can help, according to Knight. 

Having a vibrator can give you independence from a man, but can also teach you where and how you like to be touched. Use a vibrator to get to know your body and your pleasures so you can take control in bed and get the results you want, rather than having to watch a man repeatedly miss your seemingly “elusive” clit. 

Vibrators aren’t just good for single women, or women who don’t need (or want) a man, though. They’re equally effective when you’re in a relationship, whether that means letting your partner use it on you or having phone sex. The “v” in vibrators might as well be short for versatility. 

Personally, the thought of using vibrators scared me until my friend convinced me to get one and just try. And that’s truly all it is. There’s no binding contract or commitment with your vibrator. There’s no pressure (unless you want there to be). It’ll be there for you when you need it, and sitting quietly in a drawer when you don’t. 

Thus, my advice: get a vibrator and take charge of your sex life. You don’t need a man to feel good.