According to the National Panhellenic Conference, sororities cultivate a critical support system for women, allowing them to thrive in college while simultaneously building lifelong sisterhood. By preaching core values of belonging, collaboration, relevance, and respect, sororities serve as a benchmark for female camaraderie and solidarity.
If this is true, why are former sorority sisters recounting instances of disrespect and hypocrisy from their so-called sisters, over and over again?
“It’s not real friendship. You can’t just put the best-looking people in a room together and expect them to be best friends, that’s not how it works. People hated each other.” said Becca Moore, an Ohio University alumna, TikTok influencer, and former sorority sister.
Entering her freshman year, Moore sought to pledge to a sorority. Growing up on teen comedy films such as “Legally Blonde” —which showcases and glamorizes Greek life—Moore was strongly attracted to sorority sisterhood.
However, Moore’s expectations didn’t match up with reality, revealing the illegitimacy of mainstream media’s portrayal of Greek life. Instead of being a welcoming environment for socially uncertain first-year students, it was an exclusive organization built on physical appearance and wealth.
At the beginning of her senior year, Moore ultimately made the decision to leave her sorority after hearing from her “sisters” that she should leave. Once she graduated, Moore released her ex-sorority girl tell-all on TikTok, exposing the truths of sorority sisterhood and receiving almost five million views.
Unfortunately, not all women leave Greek life unscathed. Instead, they leave with lingering doubts, fractured bonds, and an inability to fully develop female friendships after years of flimsy sisterhood. For some, such as excommunicated sorority sister Kelly Valen, the unsettling undertones of sorority life multiply to an intensity that hinders genuine connection.
20 years ago, after a fraternity barn dance, Valen was raped by her date while his fellow brothers watched. Being in a sorority alongside women who have undergone similar experiences of sexual harassment and violence, she assumed that her sisters would be a place of comfort. Unfortunately, assumptions aren’t always correct.
“Then, after [the] momentum of my condemnation built to a crescendo, they confronted me directly, en masse, like a torching wielding mob,” Valen said. “Branding the incident [as] my fault, they said I deserved my fate and further complained that I brought shame upon them all.”
Instead of rallying to help Valen through an undeniably traumatic and invasive experience, the sorority held a meeting to discuss her expulsion for inappropriate behaviors.
It begs the question of how Valen’s sisters could ever place her under scrutiny for her supposed unfitting behaviors as a member of their sorority, when she was the victim of a severe felony that should have resulted in her attacker receiving punishment.
For two decades, this trauma has manifested in an avoidance of mommy-and-me classes, all-women workout classes, and fellow soccer moms, due to this branding of undeserved shame from her “sisters.” Instead of savoring fairly universal experiences of pregnancy and motherhood, Valen has withdrawn due to past anxieties.
While I have never had any affinity for Greek life, I do acknowledge and respect women who dedicate time to the system. For some, attending annual mixers or hosting charity auctions for alumni is critical in building a memorable college career. Sororities are an amazing resource, providing friendship, academic support, networking, and community service. However, it would be naïve not to recognize the faults and detrimental effects on young women’s self perception.
