If there is one thing I’ve learned from being on social media, it’s that jokes are no longer tolerated in this society.
A simple video about a woman making a ham sandwich will somehow turn into a discourse on enabling traditional gender roles and excluding vegetarians. A tweet discussing someone’s love for running will be accused of ableism. A post expressing sadness will quickly divert into a series of replies competing for the “who has it worse” trophy. Words such as “misogyny,” “pick me,” and “performative” are thrown around like ragdolls, with the original meanings nowhere to be found.
It simultaneously impresses and confuses me how far people can misconstrue the intentions of a seemingly light hearted video. I always chalked this up to people having way too much free time on their hands or not going outside enough. While both of these conditions are likely true, another far deeper issue is at play when it comes to people’s morality complex on the internet.
Social media, with its petty sparring and longwinded thinkpieces, has now become a battle to see whose moral positioning can be the purest. This phenomenon is ubiquitous, but especially prevalent in the internet, leading to a great deal of performative activism—where posting an Instagram story is considered the highest form of activism. Critiquing someone’s character has now become a sport, and the winner is the person who garners the most attention for themselves while belittling others.
This points to a bigger issue plaguing modern society: being chronically online. People need constant and public validation to be recognized as good, because they don’t have secure identities outside social media. Part of this could be attributed to main character syndrome, or inflated self-importance, which algorithms exacerbate by specifically tailoring feeds to our likes, interests, and hobbies. Whenever “main characters” see something they disagree with, they run to the comments and express their outrage, hoping to feel the rush of internet validation.
Another simple option? Scroll. Instead of rapidly click clacking on your keyboard and typing another comment that will inevitably be lost in a sea of millions, all could be fixed with a swipe of a finger. Unfortunately, social media makes it too easy for us. One comment can lead to a mountain of notifications as we eagerly keep scrolling, trying to read what everyone thinks about us. We purposely exploit ourselves to feed our natural reward system and quickly get addicted to the feeling of likes, followers, and comments. Our self worth becomes curated by one thing only, internet validation, and we are desperate to receive more.
Not only does this performative behaviour diminish the impact of the issues being discussed, but it terminates the possibility of progressing through open and productive conversations. By constantly playing moral police, we create a space of intolerance instead of nuance, reducing people to a black and white worldview. Ironically, unrighteous indignation on other people’s behalf limits our empathy as moral outrage overtakes sympathetic concern.
In a time where this country is more polarized than ever—in politics, gender, and seemingly all social issues—overwhelming levels of moral outrage police only emphasize this divide, making us settle in our differences instead of finding common ground. This problem runs far deeper than a couple of comments, translating into real life consequences when actual harm is inflicted under the guise of safedoing.
In 2022, there was a surge of protests against drag performances, framing them as ways of “grooming” and “sexualizing” children. This online rhetoric caused an uptick in vitriol toward drag performers, with the Institute for Strategic Dialogue noting over 140 incidents of harassment.
By creating scapegoats, we are purposely making less of an effort to understand what others are saying and are in turn waiting for them to mess up. But pointing fingers won’t erase the other injustices in the world, it will only cause more. Instead of adopting new identities as faceless Facebook warriors, we should channel this misplaced anger into causes that will actually produce change.
Social media is not a replacement for therapy, friends, or human interaction. Perpetuating ourselves as victims to fill the void caused by our insecurities only creates a never-ending cycle. We are our worst enemies, stifling ourselves from growth and not having the capacity to see beyond ourselves.
Rather than jumping on the bandwagon and deciphering other people’s intentions, we should research our own thoughts, beliefs, and values. When we decenter the idea of demonizing others to uplift ourselves and hone in on our true perspective, we reduce the performative aspect of activism since our actions aren’t driven by praise from others, but a genuine commitment in helping a cause.
Otherwise, we will lose ourselves in the endless black hole of social media.
